© 2019 kristen mallia

The Questionnaire

Poster Placemat with Questionnaire on Clipboard and :other Publication

Digital Printing, Clipboard, and 194-Page Perfect Bound Publication

Various Dimensions

2018

:other

looping video​, (0:22)

The Questionnaire was created as a design framework for data collection, curation, and filtration. It consists of a variety of arbitrary questions, generated without agenda or prompt. Colleague Molly Haig completed the 12-page document by hand. In collaboration with Google, I input her unique responses, selecting a single image from the search results. The final curation was then presented in a 194-page bound publication. To conclude The Questionnaire, the images were compiled into a looping video as part of a larger archival performance and installation. All paperwork was formalized with dates and signatures.

What is your favorite animal?

List the names of all pets you’ve ever had:

What is your favorite color?

Do you like flip flops?

Have you always been a vegetarian?

Favorite movie?

Did you like Titanic?

Have you read Gone With The Wind?

Preference: Polaroid or jpg?

Do you prefer a skirt or pants?

Do you own a car?

How many siblings do you have?

Did you ever have a treehouse?

What is the name of your high school?

Name a band that you like:

Name a band that you hate:

How do you feel about potatoes?

Do you own any house plants?

Have you been to Las Vegas?

How do you feel right now?

How many pillows are on your bed?

Do you drink coffee?

Have you seen the original Footloose?

What’s your favorite movie soundtrack?

Can you relate to Kiera Knightley?

Do you keep a diary?

How many cameras do you own?

What’s your ethnicity?

Have you been to Brazil?

Rate Boston on a 1 to 10 scale (10 being the best)

How do you feel about mountains?

Do you own skis?

What is your favorite food?

Have you ever owned an Iguana?

Do you know how to knit?

Scones or muffins?

Do you own more than one Charlie Card?

Have you seen The Big Lebowski?

Do you like paper?

How do you feel about puppets?

Do you have a tattoo?

Do you like The Talking Heads?

Have you ever tried eating Triscuits?

Preference: grocery shopping or doing the laundry?

Do you live near a T-stop

Have you ever run a road race?

Do you like monkeys?

Have you ever been in a hot air balloon?

Are you familiar with The Kangaroo Sanctuary?

How do you feel about Nutella?

Do you cry at movies?

Have you ever made stuffed peppers?

Have you considered the cosmos?

Do you make your own salad dressing?

Have you ever sewed paper?

Preference: Hallmark or homemade?

Choose one: ocean or lake?

Have you been to New Zealand?

Do you believe you were born in the right decade?

Flats or heels?

Have you ever owned a horse?

Did you ever run away as a child?

Zebra: black and white or white and black?

Have you ever been a blonde?

Do you have freckles?

Are you from Jamaica?

Do you like seafood?

Have you ever gone lobstering?

Do you like gardening?

How old is your tv?

Printers: friend or foe?

Do you watch The Ellen Show?

Have you been on an expedition before?

Is this questionnaire stressing you out?

Do you like Boloco?

Are you drinking something right now?

Do you eat salsa?

What’s your favorite name?

Have you ever had plastic surgery?

Do you respect the turnip?

What day of the week were you born?

How many items hang on your bedroom wall?

Do you have a shell collection?

Wallpaper or paint?

Have you ever owned a fur coat?

Do you like parsley?

Do small spaces make you uncomfortable?

Do black holes blow your mind?

Do you have an aversion to ketchup?

Do you have a button collection?

Do you remember the trolls with hot pink hair?

What state is your drivers license from?

Do you like Back To The Future?

How do you feel about time travel?

Do you own Nikes?

What color is your pen?

How many people are around you right now?

Are you a good judge of whether a painting is hanging straight on a wall?

Brownies or biscuits?

Is the Shawshank Redemption one of your top 10 movies?

Did you ever play Mario Kart™?

Do you own a pinball machine?

How do you feel about witchcraft?

Have you ever gone spelunking?

Do you respect the nacho?

Have you ever worked in retail?

Do you know the name of your local barista?

Are you a fan of the yard sale?

Oreos: (Circle One) Heavenly or criminal?

Do you use a dishwasher?

What color is your kitchen counter?

Do you own any power tools?

Nail or screw?

Socket wrench or hammer?

Do you consider fashion?

How many flags do you own?

Have you ever lived near a swamp?

Do you own rollerblades?

Can you describe a groundhog in two words?

Meryl Streep:

Have you ever had a gluten free croissant?

Do you know what a trumpet is?

Do you own an envelope opener?

How many jars are on your desk?

What color is your bathroom rug?

How many apples is too many?

Wallet or pocket?

Do you own a suit jacket?

How many drawers are in your bureau?

How do you feel about U2?

Have you been to Switzerland?

One word to describe this questionnaire:

Do you have any allergies?

Have you seen a rabbit in Brookline?

Tylenol or Advil?

Do you believe in the power of zucchini blossoms?

Do you like Gwyneth Paltrow?

Have you listened to a record recently?

How do you feel about crepes?

Paris: oui or no?

Have you ever built a structure out of popsicle sticks?

Do you prefer your cheese grated or shredded?

Do you know any drag queens?

Are you a licensed therapist of any kind?

Do you have incense in your home?

Barefoot or slippers?

Have you ever caught a monkfish?

Do you believe in miracles?

Have you ever been in the play Bye Bye Birdie?

Do you have a collection?

Is karma legit?

Garamond or Helvetica

Green or pink?

Are you afraid of spiders?

Have you ever docked a boat yourself?

Do you understand how Jet Skis work?

How do you feel about shipwrecks?

Have you been to Fiji?

Tom Cruise: Amazing actor or psychopath?

Have you ever eaten a Tide Pod?

Do you know how to build anything?

Grid or no grid?

How many winter coats do you own?

Have you seen a shooting star?

Do you know your cousins?

Have you ever been on a cruise?

Umbrella or rain coat?

Were you ever in a sorority?

Do you like Legally Blonde?

Are you familiar with reduction firing methods?

Do you like doing your taxes?

Have you ever wanted to teleport?

What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Have you ever worked at a pizza place?

Do you tap dance?

What’s your eye color?

Is your mother’s name Joan?

How do you feel about underground parking?

Netflix or Hulu?

Do you hoola hoop?

Have you considered the 1950s?

Coke or Pepsi?

Do you like Project Runway?

Have you ever passed out?

Do you like chocolate?

Are you an athlete?

Do you pump your own gas?

Have you ever been to Disneyworld?

How do you feel about Snoop Dogg?

Have you recently watched Moonstruck?

Porcelain or Stoneware?

Have you ever won a jackpot?

Who is your favorite Golden Girl?

Do you believe in aliens?

What would your theme song be?

Did you ever watch Full House?

Do you cry at movies?

Do you feel old or young?

Do you like falafel?

Basmati or Jasmine rice?

Dinner roll or baguette?

Have you seen the Mona Lisa in real life?

Have you ever considered moving to Greece?

Have you ever felt an earthquake?

Have you ever had hypothermia?

Do you like Jell-O?

Would you rather have a bird or a hamster?

Do you like the smell of roses?

Are you a fan of Axle Rose?

Did they try to make you go to rehab?

Do you know about sewing machines?

Have you ever sent a fax?

Do you own the soundtrack to Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead

Do you believe that the shoulder pad should come back?

Katharine or Audrey?

How do you feel about file cabinets?

Are you fingernails currently painted?

Have you recently been on a Slip ‘N Slide?

Do you ever do handstands?

When is the last time you watched a football game?

Would you rather be a musician or an actor?

Do you know how to breakdance?

Thoughts on tie dye?

Red wine or white?

How do you feel about frittatas?

Do you play cornhole?

Have you ever been in a bowling league?

Are you competitive?

Would you ever take up boxing?

Do you like The Hunger Games?

Do you think you would like Martha Stewart in real life?

Are you afraid of the dark?

Did you hate Lady Gaga’s meat dress?

Did you read Charlotte’s Web as a child?

Museum or gallery?

Boxers or briefs?

Sweet or sour pickles?

Would you go to space if they invited you?

Have you seen The Martian?

Do you ever want to sky dive?

Do you wish you could breathe under water?

Have you ever owned a diamond?

Are you afraid of lions?

Do you like the smell of cedar?

Are you allergic to dairy?

Do you think Cher is beautiful?

Would you spend an afternoon with Queen Latifah?

Have you ever seen Chicago on Broadway?

Do you think we should eat more clementines?

How do you feel about artificial intelligence?

Strawberries or grapes?

Is happiness a warm gun?

Do you have a fern in your home?

Are you pro-cheesecake?

Do you like martinis?

Paper or plastic?

How many ounces of water have you drank today?

Are you ears pierced?

Do you like The Beatles?

Have you ever gone sailing?

Would you ever live in Alaska?

Where have all the cowboys gone?

Have you ever been to Cafe Du Monde?

Do you have a suitcase?

How are you at craps?

Do you know how to swim?

How do you feel about mylar?

First word that comes to mind when you think of dopamine:

How many letters are in your last name?

What’s the name of your future autobiography?

Do you personally know Diane Keaton?

Have you ever been to Sausalito?

Are you familiar with the amazing health benefits of the apricot?

Have you ever thrown a tumbler?

Squirrel or chipmunk?

Have you ever had gum in your hair?

How many denim jackets do you own?

Are you a fan of the legwarmer?

Do you pick up pennies when you see them on the sidewalk?

Have you ever gone swimming with dolphins?

Do you watch the show Bones?

How do you feel about Prius?

What’s your astrological sign?

Do you have a crush on Mr. Darcy?

How do you feel about grape jelly?

Are you currently obsessed with Conte crayons?

Are you hungry right now?

Do you like spinach and artichoke dip?

Is the Cheesecake Factory one of your favorite restaurants?

How do you feel about Skee-Ball?

Do you like turbulance?

Have you ever consumed more than one apple fritter in a single sitting?

Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks?

Have you ever read Island of the Blue Dolphin?

Are you a bone collector?

Do you like Angelina Jolie?

Do you wear contact lenses?

Have you ever played Ker Plunk?

Do you use Herbal Essence products?

Do you play bingo?

Do you own a guitar?

Have you ever hit someone in the face with a frisbie?

Please provide three words that best describe your current footwear:

Have you ever been a member of a traveling Circus?

Do you believe the answers are out there?

Have you ever danced your face off to Jamiroquai?

Do you own a baseball bat?

Have you had a flu vaccination this winter?

Do you travel light?

How many toothbrushes do you currently have?

Have you ever considered vaping?

Do you like Budweiser beer?

Do you believe the news?

Are you pro democracy?

Would you ever live in Africa?

Have you ever owned a Cranberries album

iMusic or Spotify?

Be honest. Do you understand the Cloud:

Would you ever join a commune?

Did you have chicken pox as a child?

How do you feel about cemeteries?

Do you know the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?

How do you feel about diner pancakes?

Did you ever own a Strawberry Shortcake bicycle?

Is your father’s middle name Peter?

Do you have 3 brothers?

Do you like the portrayal of Boston accents in contemporary cinema?

How do you feel about Frosted Flakes?

Do you know the Chia Pet theme song?

Do you know who Bob Ross is?

How do you feel about infomercials?

Do you like eggs?

Napkin or paper towel?

Have you seen The Adjustment Bureau?

Are you plugged into The Matrix?

In your expert creative opinion, what is a carpet?

What is a poster?

Would you date a magician?

Have you had your tarot read today?

Do you think Polyjuice Potion is a bad idea?

Do you think handcuffs of the future will require keys?

Do you know what a termite actually looks like?

How do you feel about Barbra Streisand?

Do you own a futon?

Have you mastered the art of stovetop S’mores?

Do you prefer MSG or sea salt?

Have you ever tried Saki?

Do you find The Shining scary?

How do you feel about sweet potatoes?

Have you received a bill since last night?

Are you familiar with the tone of a Bill Belichick press conference?

Do you believe in parades?

Do you sometimes wish you could live on the Lost island to see if you could survive?

Vaish: (Circle One) Friend or Foe?

Make a list of things you see right now (Maximum of 10)